The Prize Calf

I’ve been working in retail for almost 6 years now, and I have met a lot of different types of people. Some of them have been lovely, some have been captivating, some have been rude and some have been supreme idiots.

The shop I work in sells a wide range of products from leather luggage to clothing. There is a certain type of customer we get in, that no matter what you tell them, they will never listen to your advice.

An example of this would be a customer I had in one Saturday afternoon. She was in her mid 40’s, very pleasant lady, slightly heavy and had calves as big as Beth Ditto’s. She had put aside a pair of black patent croc boots which she couldn’t wait to buy. I suggested to her that before she go ahead and buy the boots, she should probably try them on as we don’t offer a refund. Looking at the boot and her calf, I knew there was no way in hell that she was going to get it round her leg, but I thought I’d let her have a go anyway. As I had guessed, she couldn’t get the zip up, she asked me if I’d give it a go. After being crouched down on the floor for ten minutes trying to drag the zip up her leg, I admitted defeat and told her there was no way they were going to go up, and even if they did the zip would jam or break. I brought over another pair of very similar boots, that did go up! Fantastic I thought. I took the boots to the till for the lady and after about 10 minutes wondered why she hadn’t followed me up the stairs, I assumed she had just got side tracked looking at other things so I wandered back down stairs to check out the situation. I was completely shocked to see the lady had in fact managed to squeeze her legs into the boot and was repeating “They are a perfect fit! Look! See!” I then turned round to see my poor 16-year colleague looking like she’d just ran a 10k with bleeding fingers. It had turned out, that the lady had insisted on trying the original pair of boots on again, and my colleague was too shy to say that they wouldn’t go up.

The lady ended up with a pair of boots that were most definitely going to cut off her circulation and give her varicose veins and we were left with £55 in the till and a member of staff with very sore fingers.

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